


meet at 7-11

by SandyMinbrook



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Crack except not because this is a realistic depiction of teens fight me, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Billy Hargrove, Group chat, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Memes, Nancy Ships It, Pining, Protective Steve Harrington, Slow Burn, Swearing, Very Pure Very Good, because neil is still a bitch, billy wishes someone had told him steve was bi much sooner, chat fic, considering their background then also:, except billys gay from the very start, supportive friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-20 04:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15526050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyMinbrook/pseuds/SandyMinbrook
Summary: SteveHeartthrob: Very funny HARGROVESteveHeartthrob: *hargrovebing-a-ling: first off why my name in capsSteveHeartthrob: Autocorrect because I keep rage capslocking about you.bing-a-ling: understandlbe have a shitty gaybing-a-ling: *daybing-a-ling: i swear that was a mistake





	1. the wonders of modern technology aka spamming a group chat at 2 am

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! this started out as a joke but my friend egged me on and here it is and i have zero regrets  
> if there are any really bad typos feel free to point them out?  
> unless they're from billy
> 
> anyways! have a fun time reading :)

_**nancy™**  has invited  **Billy_H**. and  **SteveHeartthrob**  into the groupchat._

_**nancy™**  has changed the group chat name to  **FunctionalFamily**_

 

 **nancy™** : since billy has a working phone now it's due time we all make one big chat

 **nancy™** : billy you can change your nics and settings in the top right corner

 **nancy™** : but if you wanna stay a basic bitch with their irl name as their nic, i won't stop you

 **Billy_H:**  i

 **Billy_H:**  whos fuccin talkin

 **nancy™** : oh shit misstep fuck

 

_**nancy™**  has changed their name to  **dissapointment**._

 

 **Billy_H:**  im p sure thats missplelled

 **dissapointment:**  i tried

 **dissapointment:**  please don't tell my mom what a Dissapointment i am

 **Billy_H:**  i wont

 **Billy_H:**  ill tell her what a disapPointment you are instead

 

_**Billy_H**  has changed their name to  **bing-a-ling**._

 

 **dissapointment:**  what the fuck kind of name is that

 **bing-a-ling:**  dont bully me??

 **bing-a-ling:**  i may have owned this phone for only two days

 **bing-a-ling:**  but i already have 152 memes saved

 **bing-a-ling:**  and i  _will_  spam.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Guys

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  It is literally two a.m.

 **dissapointment:**  mute your phone?

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  No Nance, I just have you muted. Haven't muted this chat yet.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Yet.

 **bing-a-ling:**  stebe accorindg to science you are a basic bitch?

 **bing-a-ling:**  that nic must go.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Good night.

 **dissapointment:**  i can't believe steev and his autocorrect left us.

 **bing-a-ling:**  ikr what a di s s apointment

 **dissapointment:**  why is it that i can't bully you but you can bully me?

 **dissapointment:**  i don't think that's what democracy is

 **bing-a-ling:**  then this shalle be a dicktatorship

 **bing-a-ling:**  dick being the key word

 **bing-a-ling:**  all the straights must leave

 **bing-a-ling:**  how do you kick someone out of a groupchat? cause you and steven need to fuccin go

 **dissapointment:**  only the creator can evict the sinners

 **dissapointment:**  ohoho unintentional god metaphore

 **dissapointment:**  but yeah only i can yeet either of you out

 **bing-a-ling:**  well fuck.

 **bing-a-ling:**  w8 w8 w8

 **bing-a-ling:**  ill just make a new group?? so im king

 **dissapointment:**  and then what? kick us all out so you'll be all on your own damn self?

 **bing-a-ling:**  ...minor miscalculation

 **bing-a-ling:**  ur too smart.. dont move, the illuminati is coming to getchu

 **dissapointment:**  fuck that lets call stee

 **bing-a-ling:**  i stan that

 

_[ **dissapointment**  has started a call]_

_[call ended 00:00:03]_

 

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Okay. Who wants to be murdered.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  I'll have you know I own three (3) nailed bats.

 **bing-a-ling:**  you nail bats????

 **bing-a-ling:**  a furry????????????

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Congrats you're at the top of my hitlist now.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Good luck surviving the night.

 **bing-a-ling:**  watcha gon nail me?

 **dissapointment:**  are you serious? right in front of my salad?

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Wee-oo outdated vine reference.

 **dissapointment:**  the words outdated and vine reference don't go in one sentence sorry

 **bing-a-ling:**  'VINE quotes are never an OUTDATED REFERENCE'

 **bing-a-ling:**  whos god now?

 **dissapointment:**  that was good but you're still shit tier

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Hey Billy if you go the duck to sleep I'll buy you beer tomorrow.

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  *fuck

 **dissapointment:**  hey why do you make deals with him??

 **bing-a-ling:**  goodnight sweet dreams have some great sleep yall

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Because he's cheap and because you're too proud to agree to things like that.

 **dissapointment:**  shots fired

 **dissapointment:**  but you have lousy aim so the shots fired missed me

 **dissapointment:**  wait shit i could have-

 **dissapointment:**  the ex joke? about how i miss her but my aim is getting better??

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Too late. You  _missed_  the opportunity

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  It's also Too Late in the sense of that it's 2a.m.

 **dissapointment:**  when did you become such a Goody Three Shoes??

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Pores: Clogged. Hair: Oily. Phone: Off.

 **dissapointment:**  reasonable but rude.

 

\---

 

Group chat  **FunctionalFamily**

 

 **bing-a-ling:**  good morning usa im ready for free beer

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Thorsty?

 **bing-a-ling:**  oh my god.

 **bing-a-ling:**  stev what the FUCK

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  What... I'm not wrong.

 **bing-a-ling:**  what is htis internet slang i thought you were a Proper Boy??

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Very funny HARGROVE

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  *hargrove

 **SteveHeartthrob** : What in my history of parties and reckless driving gives you the idea?

 **bing-a-ling:**  first off why my name in caps

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Autocorrect because I keep rage capslocking about you.

 **bing-a-ling:**  understandlbe have a shitty gay

 **bing-a-ling:**  *day

 **bing-a-ling:**  i swear that was a mistake

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  I'll take that with a grain of salt. Perhaps your autocorrect changed day to gay because you overuse the latter word?

 **bing-a-ling:**  no my fingers just be like that

 **bing-a-ling:**  anyway SECONDLY

 **bing-a-ling:**  reckless driving?????? where??

 **bing-a-ling:**  you drive like a grandma

 **SteveHeartthrob** : Incorrect. You've never been in my car.

 **bing-a-ling:**  true but ive seen you on the road its fuckccin hilarious

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  I'm glad you pay attention to me.

 **bing-a-ling:**  okay.

 **bing-a-ling:**  now thats just homophobia

 **dissapointment:**  both of you stfu why do i have to wake up to this??

 **dissapointment:**  saving everyone by changing the topic right NOW

 **dissapointment:**  esteban's username is such a trip to read can we petition he changes it to ThiccDicc

 **bing-a-ling:**  lmao signed

 **bing-a-ling:**  wait a moment

 **bing-a-ling:**  you guys fucked right

 **bing-a-ling:**  nancye would that name be factually accurate 

 **bing-a-ling:**  nancy

 **dissapointment:**  oh shit Billy sorry didn't mean to fuel your thirst

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  YOU ALL GO GET A PRIVATE CHAT

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  ACTUALLY DON'T. JUST DROP THE TOPIC ALL TOGETHER

 **bing-a-ling:**  what happened to fratboy steben

 **bing-a-ling:**  now you sound like an abstinence only teen

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  You're never the same after adoption....

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Being a single mother is difficult.

 **bing-a-ling:**  o shit rite

 **dissapointment:**  stven in his dress and apron cooking for the uuuuh 7 children?

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  There's six. Who's the seventh? Billy?

 **bing-a-ling:**  very funny but

 **bing-a-ling:**  i would pay to see stevv in a dress

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Spell my name right and secondly I'm not some cheap whore

 **bing-a-ling:**  an expensive whore then?

 **dissapointment:**  billy honey you think you're joking but you ain't

 **bing-a-ling:**  thanks its my speciality

 **bing-a-ling:**  no but sdeve ThiccDicc nicname y/n

 **SteveHeartthrob:**  Nay

 

_**SteveHeartthrob**  changed their name to Yeehonk._

 

 **dissapointment:**  i don't know what's going on and at this point i'm too afraid to ask

 **bing-a-ling:**  idk too but i aint afraid so ill do it for you:

 **bing-a-ling:**  what the FUCK

 **Yeehonk:**  Ya'll salty emos keep wanting me to having something genetalia related in my name but I'm above that.

 **bing-a-ling:**  you make this sound like its some old feud but ive been in this chat for 1 day

 **bing-a-ling:**  always blaming the innocent

 **Yeehonk:**  (Meaningful stare at nancy)

 **dissapointment:**  bullying? in my chat?? more likely than you thot

 **bing-a-ling:**  nancy?? what have you called him ?

 **Yeehonk:**   _Don't_.

 **dissapointment:**  SteveDickThrob

 **dissapointment:**  pubic_hair

 **bing-a-ling:**  thats gr8 and all but why the underscore

 **Yeehonk:**  pubichair doesn't work so well cause of the 'chair'

 **bing-a-ling:**  wow for once no capitalization from scteve?

 **Yeehonk:**  My phone got confused and decided to give up

 **bing-a-ling:**  mood

 **dissapointment:**  mood

 **Yeehonk:**  Don't bring back sending 'mood' as a reaction to literally anything.

 **dissapointment:**  mood

 **Yeehonk:**  I'm putting my phone away and getting in the car. Billy get dressed I'll buy you beer.

 **bing-a-ling:**  my heart says 'answer with mood' but my brain wants free drinks so ill remain quiet

 **dissapointment:**  mood but guys its like 9 those are Bad life choices

 **bing-a-ling:**  having local dickthrob pick me up @ my house? good life choices

 **bing-a-ling:**  wait shit you cant pick me up @ my house my dads home

 

_[ **bing-a-ling**  has started a call]_

_[call ended 00:00:02]_

 

 **Yeehonk:**  Can you guys stop calling.

 **Yeehonk:**  Okay I've parked my car like a good citizen what is it.

 **bing-a-ling:**  meat me at the turn like by the 7-11

 **Yeehonk:**  I give you one chance to correct that typo.

 **bing-a-ling:**  hm

 **bing-a-ling:**  dutifully ignored

 **Yeehonk:**  I  _will_  drive back to my house and go back to sleep.

 **bing-a-ling:**  *meet

 **dissapointment:**  ya'll there's school tomorrow

 **dissapointment:**  that means one, no slamdown drunk-ing, and two, no fucking

 **bing-a-ling:**  i have questions about the last point

 **Yeehonk:**  I am not meating Billy by the 7-11

 **Yeehonk:**  In fact before you have the chance to comment 'then where are you meating him'

 **Yeehonk:**   _I'll say that I am not meating him at all_

 **Yeehonk:**  Case closed

 **dissapointment:**  aw i was already typing but you beat me to it :(

 **bing-a-ling:**  ill freeze my toes and dick off pls get back on the road

 **Yeehonk:**  Dutifully ignored

 **dissapointment** : big mood

 **Yeehonk:**  Bye

 **Yeehonk:**  Billy go inside the 7-11 it's warmer.

 **bing-a-ling:**  wow being cared for feels gr8

 **bing-a-ling:**  ill leave you six stars on yelp

 

\---

 

Group chat  **FunctionalFamily**

 

 **dissapointment:**  are y'all alive it's been five hours

 

\---

 

Group chat  **FunctionalFamily**

 

 **dissapointment:**  for you information i have the sheriffs email

 **dissapointment:**  don't ask why

 **dissapointment:**  n e way i  will email him if you don't confirm your existence

 **dissapointment:**  svet did say billy was on his hitlist and while i dont trust him to hit a target i do know hes got a lot of uh

 **dissapointment:**  detwerwmwinwatiwion

 **dissapointment:**  even if you were sucking each other off in the car it should  _under no circumstances_  take six hours

 **dissapointment:**  i'm heading to byers' when i'm back i'll be expecting either a profound apology for going off charts in this dangerous town with a population of 10

 **dissapointment:**  or a news headline titled Local Idiots Get Caught In A Meat Grinder

 

\---

 

Private chat of  **bing-a-ling**  and dissapointment

 

 **dissapointment:**  no but really are you guys okay

 **dissapointment:**  sorry for worrying but the roads are icy

 

\---

 

Group chat  **FunctionalFamily**

 

 **bing-a-ling:**  jesus christ is the meat grinder detail some allusion?? sneaky literature student

 **bing-a-ling:**  no the quarry just doesnt have 4G

 **bing-a-ling:**  YeehonkMcThrob here is driving rn but he said to say that he heavily dislikes you

 **bing-a-ling:**  and that youre more of a mom friend than he is

 **bing-a-ling:**  i'm glad youre offline so you cant shout @ me in real time

 

\---

 

Private chat of  **bing-a-ling**  and dissapointment

 

 **bing-a-ling:**  dude no its ok sorry for worrying ye

 **bing-a-ling:**  we just sat at the quarry and talked

 **bing-a-ling:**  hes really nice when you dont agravate him

 **bing-a-ling:**  ???????????

 **bing-a-ling:**  ;-; why he gotta have inner depth ? cursed mood

 **bing-a-ling:**  i mean ive been here for what a month and he chipped in to get me a phone??

 **bing-a-ling:**  like thats really nice

 **bing-a-ling:**  who does that?? i hate him so much

 **bing-a-ling:**  hes being all quiet and contemplative now so i dont wanna verbally spam him

 **bing-a-ling:**  plus i dont want him to crash the car if i idk whip out a real good pun

 **bing-a-ling:**  so i gotta spam you

 **bing-a-ling:**  suffer

 **dissapointment:**  that's

 **bing-a-ling:**  oh hi hows the uh what do you guys even do

 **bing-a-ling:**  make out?? nude photography?

 **dissapointment:**  ok that's

 **dissapointment:**  no comment

 **dissapointment:**  instead billy hello didn't you want to punch his face in like two weeks ago

 **bing-a-ling:**  i didnt say i dont want to anymroe

 **bing-a-ling:**  lmao he just sucked in a breath cause some bird flew up from the raod

 **bing-a-ling:**  what a grandma

 **dissapointment:**  stop interrupting this meaningful conversation with ice-breaker memery

 **dissapointment:**  i know these tricks you lil fucker

 **bing-a-ling:**  how can you say something so contreversial yet so brave?

 **dissapointment:**  there you're doing it again

 **dissapointment:**  it's ok if you don't wanna talk but i'm here

 **bing-a-ling:**  uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

 **bing-a-ling:**  stop flaying me

 **bing-a-ling:**  flayling?

 **bing-a-ling:**  whatever leave my layers of insecurity alone

 **dissapointment:**  ok you bean

 

\---

 

Group chat  **FunctionalFamily**

 

_**dissapointment**  changed their name to  **autovoyeurism**._

 

 **autovoyeurism** : i had no choice in my username

 **Yeehonk:**  W h o m s t ve

 **Yeehonk:**   _Wh y_

 **bing-a-ling:**  i can't say i liked dissapointment but

 **bing-a-ling:**  but ever wonder what that byer's camera is foooor

 **autovoyeurism** : i'm glad y'all alive but at this point wish y'all were dead

 **Yeehonk:**  What a loving mother...

 **bing-a-ling:**  that makes her a granma? seeing as youre the mother of 7

 **Yeehonk:**  Of six.

 **bing-a-ling:**  no you're forgetting me

 **Yeehonk:**  Oh right

 **Yeehonk:**  Son

 **bing-a-ling:**  daddy

 **Yeehonk:**  I regret dropping you off because I really wish I could slap you right now

 **bing-a-ling:**  where?

 **autovoyeurism** : if we're getting into kinks i'm gonna come out and say something

 **bing-a-ling:**  vore?

 **autovoyeurism** : steve is a furry

 **autovoyeurism** : and billy stfu ill block you in real life

 **Yeehonk:**  The one time you spell my name

 **Yeehonk:**  It's like this

 **bing-a-ling:**  shit do i gotta purchase that tail butt plug now to appease you @Yeehonk?

 **Yeehonk:**  My recommended Instagram feed just spit out the furry porn accidentally

 **Yeehonk:**  I swear

 **Yeehonk:**  And Billy, you won't pay for your own beer but you want to blow money on  _that_?

 **bing-a-ling:**  that wasnt a no

 **Yeehonk:**  BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH

 **autovoyeurism** : still not a no

 **Yeehonk:**  God. Here: No Billy don't get the tail buttplug.

 **bing-a-ling:**  and i already had amazon open...

 **autovoyeurism** : billy should get a patreon or kickstarter or something

 **autovoyeurism** : i bet if you asked your 37 followers to chip in so you could get that shit 4 your bf

 **autovoyeurism** : they probably would

 **autovoyeurism** : they'd also ask for pics but something tells me you wouldn't mind

 **bing-a-ling:**  youre still angsty about me having more follwoers than you?

 **bing-a-ling:**  surprise its cause i have quality content

 **autovoyeurism** : selfies and pictures of your car are not quality content

 **bing-a-ling:**  my 21037 followrs dont think that

 **bing-a-ling:**  plus youre forgetting the memes

 **Yeehonk:**  Girls, girls, these fights make my lurking boring

 **autovoyeurism** : ill help

 **autovoyeurism** : we have the selfreflective poems due on monday

 **autovoyeurism** : which happens to be when?

 **bing-a-ling:**  oof

 **autovoyeurism** : tomorrow

 **Yeehonk:**  The what

 **bing-a-ling:**  OOF

 **autovoyeurism** : now you have something to do have a nice day :)

 **Yeehonk:**  You guys are worse than the shortstock gang...

 **bing-a-ling:**  thanks for the compliment

 **Yeehonk:**  Good night, no more calls or I will slaughter each of you with bug spray.

 **autovoyeurism** : love you too

 **bing-a-ling:**  love you too

 

\---

 

Private chat of  **bing-a-ling**  and  **autovoyeurism**

 

 **bing-a-ling:**  small problem

 **autovoyeurism** : i'm listening

 **bing-a-ling:**  yknow im gay

 **autovoyeurism** : obviously

 **bing-a-ling:**  and its like 80% of my joke pool

 **bing-a-ling:**  so ive been jokingly hitting on steve

 **bing-a-ling:**  cause its an easy joke source

 **autovoyeurism** : mmhm

 **bing-a-ling:**  but yknow like when you

 **bing-a-ling:**  like.. ironically start saying shit like 'yeet' or 'mood' or 'uwu'

 **bing-a-ling:**  especially 'yall'

 **bing-a-ling:**  but then it becomes unironical

 **autovoyeurism** : mmmmmmmmmhm

 **bing-a-ling:**  fuck off w ur emmy fingers

 **bing-a-ling:**  im done elaborating goodnight we learned metaphores parallelism and allusion you can figure this out

 **autovoyeurism** : good night you big gay

 

 

 


	2. class time: for learning about all sorts of things like how to have a crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who's joined me on this trash story so far, we're all a bunch of raccoons in a trashcan now, welcome to the club  
> a good little breath, this chapter is, before chapter three comes in with some Spicy Content (the good kind)  
> (that is unless Exposition™ will rear its head in)  
> bon apetite!

Group chat **FunctionalFamily**

 

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

 

**autovoyuerism:** oh hell no

 

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

 

**autovoyuerism:** like i get it when you send memes

**autovoyuerism:** that's okay

**autovoyuerism:** but these

 

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

 

**autovoyuerism:** what is this

**bing-a-ling:** ok im done

**bing-a-ling:** some cursed image for a cursed morning

**Yeehonk:** The can of peas with the straw is my least favorite thank you

**bing-a-ling:** what a blessed calm reaction

**bing-a-ling:** @autovoyuerism you should learn

**autovoyuerism:** mike has been spamming the family chat with that

**autovoyuerism:** the person putting a capri sun into the outlet

**autovoyuerism:** that picture

**Yeehonk:** Oh ew, Dustin had showed it to me

**autovoyuerism:** where did billy go

**Yeehonk:** I believe he's diligently scrolling right now to find it

**autovoyuerism:** well shit

 

_[ **bing-a-ling** sent a photo]_

 

**bing-a-ling:** HERE

**bing-a-ling:** fingers cramped from the searching but soul satiated

**Yeehonk:** Okay great conclusion, I'm going to actually go get to school

**bing-a-ling:** drive safe  :    )

**Yeehonk:** .....

**Yeehonk:** The sarcasm there is seething

**Yeehonk:** But I'll pretend I'm an eight year old on YouTube and can't tell the difference

**bing-a-ling:** you.. .arent an 8 yr old? on utube??

**bing-a-ling:** what a re you then? a really short adult

**bing-a-ling:** hard to believe

**Yeehonk:** Very funny

**Yeehonk:** I'm pretty sure you're taller only because of your shoes

**bing-a-ling:** am i being accused of wearing highheels??

**autovoyuerism:** @Yeehonk if billy’s ready to pay to see you in a dress

**autovoyuerism:** are you ready to pay to see billy in high heels?

**Yeehonk:** Why would I need to pay for something I have for free?

**bing-a-ling:** im sorry WHAT

 

_[ **Yeehonk** sent a photo]_

 

**bing-a-ling:** when was this

**bing-a-ling:** steve when was this

**autovoyuerism:** aren’t those steve's mom's shoes

**autovoyuerism:** i mean honey you're rocking it but

**bing-a-ling:** i have so many questions

**Yeehonk:** When Nancy crashed on the couch? But you were still kicking

**Yeehonk:** You said you were graceful? Or something

**bing-a-ling:** ....

**Yeehonk:** And I said no

**autovoyuerism:** i'm crying

**Yeehonk:** And you put on the shoes and

**autovoyuerism:** he did a lap dance???

**Yeehonk:** No, he crumpled and hurt his ankle

**bing-a-ling:** so that was where that came from??

**bing-a-ling:** you said i tripped down the stairs???

**Yeehonk:** Didn't want to hurt your fragile masculinity

**autovoyuerism:** mood

**bing-a-ling:** i cant believe this

**bing-a-ling:** yall are horrible im leaving

**Yeehonk:** Oh nooooo

**Yeehonk:** What a national tragedy

**Yeehonk:** Shit did he actually leave?

**autovoyuerism:** on normal days, a queen

**autovoyuerism:** in times like these: a drama queen

 

\---

 

Group chat **FunctionalFamily**

 

**bing-a-ling:** @autovoyuerism

**bing-a-ling:** come here my mutual

**bing-a-ling:** i see you across the room

**bing-a-ling:** you aint working

**Yeehonk:** Wow y'all texting in class? Rowdy teens...

**bing-a-ling:** ur in what

**bing-a-ling:** study hall rn? i find it hard to believe that u dont have shit to work on

**Yeehonk:** What a judgmental stalker?

**Yeehonk:** Knows my schedule and then starts to shame me?

**Yeehonk:** I'm almost offended but really, I'm just flattered

**bing-a-ling:** i didnt come here to be persecuted

**bing-a-ling:** got added to have a gr8 time and im honestly feeling v attacked rn

**bing-a-ling:** how much would nancy kill me if i started a call

**bing-a-ling:** your apple pphones are hilarious cause the calls still come through

**Yeehonk:** Well excuse the local tall blonde idiot?

**Yeehonk:** The normal mute thing doesn't work all the time but

**Yeehonk:** God what am I defending

**bing-a-ling:** same question

**Yeehonk:** Okay whatever

**Yeehonk:** Back to original ask: no do not call her

**Yeehonk:** Jonathan dialed me when we broke up with Nancy

**Yeehonk:** And said to lock my doors because she's apparently a deadly good shot

**bing-a-ling:** ‘ _deadly’_

**bing-a-ling:** but yeah hint taken thanks bud for watchin my butt

**bing-a-ling:** wait the saying is 'watching my ass'

**Yeehonk:** Billy you walk with a purposeful hip swing and you wear those H &M ass-emphasis jeans

**Yeehonk:** If someone doesn't even so much as glance at your ass every once in a while then they're blind

**Yeehonk:** Or have no appreciation for anything in this life

**Yeehonk:** Billy are you alive

 

\---

 

Private chat of **bing-a-ling** and **autovoyuerism**

 

**bing-a-ling:** red alert

**bing-a-ling:** that isn't in all caps because i feel like the deadpan of modern texting conveys my freakout much betterr.

**bing-a-ling:** nancy he called my ass nice

**bing-a-ling:** this is like that meme about 'he thinks my hair is nice?' about the diary

**bing-a-ling:** but horrifically flipped

**bing-a-ling:** never meant to have memes as a means of describing my feelings

**bing-a-ling:** but what can i do

**bing-a-ling:** i want to be like that duck from the wikihow

**bing-a-ling:** i want him to hold me gentle like burger

**bing-a-ling:** hwo do i ffel things w/out compulsively making memes

**bing-a-ling:** america explain

 

\---

 

Group chat **FunctionalFamily**

 

**Yeehonk:** I think I murdered Billy

**Yeehonk:** I don't want to go to jail

**Yeehonk:** Who will I leave my children to

 

\---

 

Private chat of **bing-a-ling** and **Yeehonk**

 

**Yeehonk:** I'm sorry are you okay

**Yeehonk:** Billy are you okay

**Yeehonk:** I'd understand if your phone was taken by your teacher

**Yeehonk:** You do kind of deserve it

**Yeehonk:** But that was _suspiciously_ good timing

 

\---

 

Private chat of **bing-a-ling** and **autovoyuerism**

 

**bing-a-ling:** HES SLIPPING INTO MY DMS WE HAVENT EVEN HELD HANDS YET

**bing-a-ling:** this deserves desperate measures

**bing-a-ling:** me seeing him text me is equivalent to like seeing idk a mouse in your can of coke right after you opene d it

**bing-a-ling:** except pleasant

**autovoyuerism:** oh my god that was the most obnoxious way to catch someone’s eyes

**autovoyuerism:** let me read all this fucking spam

**bing-a-ling:** alexa what do i do

**autovoyuerism:** well shit

**bing-a-ling:** wow uplifting

**autovoyuerism:** i meant that in a good way

**autovoyuerism:** um just reply with something like 'thanks dad'

**bing-a-ling:** thats such a bad idea

 

\---

 

Group chat **FunctionalFamily**

 

**bing-a-ling:** thanks dad

**bing-a-ling:** for the complemet

**Yeehonk:** Whew I don't have to go to jail

 

\---

 

Private chat for **bing-a-ling** and **Yeehonk**.

 

**bing-a-ling:** yore almost right the teacher just walked by so i had to stealth mode

**Yeehonk:** I can't believe you two are spacing out in literature

**Yeehonk:** Isn't it the Holy Grail class for both of you

**bing-a-ling:** tru dat but im done

**Yeehonk:** Good job my man, staying on top of your work?

**Yeehonk:** Not getting the full high school experience?

**bing-a-ling:** lmao thanks for the praise

**bing-a-ling:**  ;)

**Yeehonk:** I can't believe this high literature student just used a basic ass emoji

**bing-a-ling:** fuck you it conveys much more emotoin than a human face

**bing-a-ling:** also this is the person speaking who used the word thicc in an esay

**bing-a-ling:** essay

**Yeehonk:** I've heard you kinetically typo 'genuine' so stfu

**bing-a-ling:** kinetically typo ? ? (xfiles theme plays?)

**Yeehonk:** Mispronounce

**bing-a-ling:** _wow_

**bing-a-ling:** i would read a book written by you

**Yeehonk:** How about you start with some of my essays

**bing-a-ling:** did nancy refuse to edit yours again

**bing-a-ling:** you sneaky fucker

**bing-a-ling:** how about you invite me for some coffee so i can verbally chew you out on ur grammar

**Yeehonk:** Shameless

**Yeehonk:** Hey Billy

**Yeehonk:** _How about I invite you for some coffee so you can verbally chew me out on my grammar_

**bing-a-ling:** oh jee steve thats such a bold request wonder where it came from

**bing-a-ling:** who brings the condoms?

**Yeehonk:** Blocked. Unsubscribed.

**bing-a-ling:** cant believe i lost my only follorwr

**Yeehonk:** Is tomorrow cool with you?

**Yeehonk:** This bitch of a paper due Wednesday and oh boy I'm ready to start learning the uh

**Yeehonk:** What do the kids call it

**Yeehonk:** Em-el-aye?

**bing-a-ling:** i really really really really hope ur kidding rn

**Yeehonk:** No comment

**Yeehonk:**   ;)

**bing-a-ling:** maybe ;) can be our always

**Yeehonk:** I'll go degrade my essay's grammar just to spite you

**bing-a-ling:** i gettid you dont want one of us to die of cancer rite

**bing-a-ling:** shit youve read the fault in our stars right

**bing-a-ling:** because that would be such a trash spoiler

**Yeehonk:** Wasn’t that popular around 20 years ago. Even if I'd never read it I'd know the plot through and through now thanks to memes

**bing-a-ling:** mood

**Yeehonk:** Yeah bye

 

\---

 

Private chat for **bing-a-ling** and **autovoyuerism**.

 

**bing-a-ling:** he slipped into my dms im slipping into his pants

**autovoyuerism:** yeah i can see you grinning from across the room tf did you do

**bing-a-ling:** self invited myself to his house? never

**autovoyuerism:** ????

**bing-a-ling:** or maybe a cafe..  shit he never specificed

**autovoyuerism:** brother you got game but i bet you did it in some cheap white girl way

**bing-a-ling:** low blow

**bing-a-ling:** im gonna edit his paper

**autovoyuerism:** sounds oddly sexual

**autovoyuerism:** fun-fact he used to break into my house to 'study'

**autovoyuerism:** bad phrasing me @me

**autovoyuerism:** as in he'd climb through my window

**bing-a-ling:** thats some somnophilia shit

**autovoyuerism:** i was awake you dirty minded grandpa

**autovoyuerism:** what i'm going at is that there's no scientific proof

**autovoyuerism:** that school related activities don't stand for a whole different spectrum of 'activities'

**bing-a-ling:** VERY BAD PHRASING OP

**bing-a-ling:** hm op?

**autovoyuerism:** ..what

**bing-a-ling:** good news or bad news first

**autovoyuerism:** good news

**bing-a-ling:** i wont let steve inherit your corgi

**autovoyuerism:** is the bad news that I’m dying

**bing-a-ling:** one could say

**bing-a-ling:** the teachers behind you

 


	3. getting excited about helloween is never too uncalled for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry you guys for the schedule-less uploads but I promise I'll keep the updating moderately frequent.  
> I'm projecting my yearning for helloween through billy

Group chat **FunctionalFamily**

 

 **bing-a-ling:** theres some dog outside my house

 **bing-a-ling:** im home alone w max and shes watching something w headphones

 **bing-a-ling:** didnt hear shit ofc so now im doubting if i really heard the thing i heard

 **Yeehonk:** What did you hear

 **bing-a-ling:** the dog

 **Yeehonk:** Yeah ok obviously the dog but what was so upsetting about it

 **bing-a-ling:** it sounds like it has really big dick energy

 **bing-a-ling:** and i really dont wanna battle a level 110 dog

 **Yeehonk:** Are you sober?

 **bing-a-ling:** irrelevant

 **bing-a-ling:** im looking out the window and i think i saw something move

 **Yeehonk:** I mean if your door's locked you're fine

 **bing-a-ling:** what if it has fingers

 **bing-a-ling:** what then?

 **Yeehonk:** Do you want to do us a favor?

 **bing-a-ling:** o no thas a direct hit to me instincts of people pleasing

 **Yeehonk:** Go lie down until you're less drunk

 **autovoyuerism:** but what if the dog knocks

 **autovoyuerism:** and max answers the door??

 **Yeehonk:** Not you too.

 **autovoyuerism:** i'll have you know i'm actually sober?

 **Yeehonk:** Hard to believe..

 

**_autovoyuerism_ ** _changed their name to **soreber.**_

 

 **Yeehonk:** I'm sorry

 **Yeehonk:** Did I mishear

 **soreber:** did i fucking typo?

 **soreber:** sore plus sober

 **Yeehonk:** I wish I was Jared 19

 **bing-a-ling:** sore back or sore in the ;0

 **Yeehonk:** What if this was Dustin on my phone right now?? This chat is PG-13

 

**_bing-a-ling_ ** _has changed the group chat name to **SexxiiBoobis.**_

 

 **bing-a-ling:** now its rated R

 **Yeehonk:** This is so Bad

 **soreber:** I HEAVY STAN THIS

 **soreber:** BIG PLOT TWIST

 

**_Yeehonk_ ** _has changed the group chat name to **BibleStudy.**_

 

 **Yeehonk:** We're all the children of Jesus

 **bing-a-ling:** childrn?

 **bing-a-ling:** mpreg jesus?

 **bing-a-ling:** nvm can i block myself

 **soreber:** i regret this chat i regret this friendship

 **Yeehonk:** Billy I'm unblocking you, tell me more

 **Yeehonk:** I will sponsor Billy if he writes the new Bible

 **soreber:** don't mention sponsoring because he will do it

 **bing-a-ling:** ill be the guy who got drunk and wrote trump fanfic

 **bing-a-ling:** already drunk so thats 50% there

 **soreber:** Okay Billy and his antraparmorphic dog should go sleep

 **bing-a-ling:** i am NOT sleeping w a dog

 **bing-a-ling:** after all im no stvet

 **Yeehonk:** WHAT IS THIS

 **Yeehonk:** Why the fuck does the furry thing stick

 **Yeehonk:** But Billy going on about mpreg Jesus doesn't?

 **soreber:** we all know he's gay its no surprise so

 **bing-a-ling:** thanks nancy

 **bing-a-ling:** unecescsary but thanks

 **soreber:** w8 doesn’t billy have the essay to edit

 **soreber:** he's gonna be hung over for you sven

 **Yeehonk:** Oh crap

 **Yeehonk:** I mean... It'll wear off a bit after he gets through a school d

 **Yeehonk:** Nancy

 **soreber:** yes?

 **soreber:** oh

 **soreber:** uh

 **Yeehonk:** Nancy how do you know about the essay editing

 **soreber:** mike just caught on fire i gotta run

 **Yeehonk:** I'm not mad I'm just amused

 **Yeehonk:** Really amused

 **Yeehonk:** One asleep the other apparently putting out her brother

 **Yeehonk:** Bad phrasing implies Nancy is a hitman

 **Yeehonk:** The FBI man assigned to filter this conversation is going to confiscate you tomorrow

 **Yeehonk:** Seeing as y'all are blissfully out I'll go binge YouTube

 **Yeehonk:** What better time to watch 'Top 10 Uncaught Murderers Who Lived In People's House Without Them Knowing' as I am alone in this haunted mansion

 

\---

 

Private chat of **bing-a-ling** and **Yeehonk**

 

 **bing-a-ling:** i know itsvry earl

 **bing-a-ling:** early*

 **bing-a-ling:** but ihavw a good ide a

 **Yeehonk:** I waited in hopes you'd just spam and I wouldn't have to reply

 **Yeehonk:** But it seems you're set on me being present for this train wreck

 **bing-a-ling:** trainswrek?????

 **bing-a-ling:** almost offended except i

 

**_bing-a-ling_ ** _has changed their name to **trainwronk.**_

 

 **Yeehonk:** Where's the hidden meaning?

 **Yeehonk:** **Bing-a-ling** was so deep? And this?

 **trainwronk:** there is

 **trainwronk:** hidden meenin

 **Yeehonk:** And?

 **trainwronk:** im a train

 **trainwronk:** ride me

 **Yeehonk:** Minor mistake op

 **Yeehonk:** You're a train WRECK

 **trainwronk:** wHATEVER im here for my business idea

 **Yeehonk:** Okay okay I'm listening very attentively as every sidekick to the mad drunk genius

 **trainwronk:** im just jhungover you ass

 **trainwronk:** n e way: you

 **trainwronk:** buy me

 **trainwronk:** some shorts

 **Yeehonk:** It's October

 **trainwronk:** IM NOT DONE

 **trainwronk:** fooooooooooor my hallwne costume

 **Yeehonk:** Don't you own shorts and what type of costume

 **trainwronk:** leathr shorts

 **trainwronk:** im gonna be a sexxi cowbobi

 **Yeehonk:** Coy bobby

 **trainwronk:** ufk i dont thini i can drive

 **trainwronk:** pmu?

 **Yeehonk:** Peel my undies?

 **trainwronk** : PICK ME UP

 **trainwronk** : bye bab im gon go climbo ff the bed

 **Yeehonk:** Good morning to you too

 **Yeehonk:** Wait for me at seven eleven and get me a sandwich please

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **soreber:** good morning lesbians lets _go_

 **trainwronk:** oh were _going_

 **trainwronk:** steven says hi

 **soreber:** it's what 8 why

 **trainwronk:** im getting driven

 **trainwronk:** because everyhing hurts too much :)

 **trainwronk:** max hid the advil after last time

 **soreber:** aw but i'm the one w sore in my nic

 **trainwronk:** im level 2 of that with the fact im a rainwreck

 **trainwronk:** TrainWreck

 **soreber:** rwainrwreckr uwu

 **trainwronk:** i read thhat aloud to svetven and i think were g-

 **soreber:** oh no

 **soreber:** a car crash

 **soreber:** now i'll have to make new friends

 **soreber:** oh no i'll have to befriend Mr. Algebra

 **trainwronk:** you forgot teachers name again didnt you

 **soreber:** that IS his name and you KNOW it

 **soreber:** i doubt he has a personal life

 **trainwronk:** thicc mood

 **trainwronk:** brb/gtg because theres a pop ass song on radio i gotta Fight

 **soreber:** don't void stee yet he owes me a piggyback ride

 

\---

 

Private chat of **trainwronk** and **soreber**.

 

 **trainwronk:** i know youre in phys ed

 **trainwronk:** haha i can spam and not get kicked

 **trainwronk:** i just got woked

 **trainwronk:** im a big hoe - and yes yes stop the cheering i admit to it-

 **trainwronk:** but usually i just want the boy to raw me

 **trainwronk:** but current problem

 **trainwronk:** since i dont have a gaydar version for like ice?

 **trainwronk:** basically i catn fuccin tell it apart from pavement

 **trainwronk:** i might have slipped

 **trainwronk:** and he caught me

 **trainwronk:** and it waslike in a disney movie w like intrucmental music and birds and shit

 **trainwronk:** i heavy dont like this

 **trainwronk:** being soft is 100% not an advantage

 **trainwronk:** in this universe its either yeet or be yeeted

 **trainwronk:** i want him to yeet me but at the same time i dont wa

 **trainwronk:** nevermind failed metaphore im gonna leave

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **trainwronk:** petition for horror movie night on halloween

 **trainwronk:** wait heloween is coming up

 **trainwronk:** it just hit me

 **trainwronk:** HELLOWEEN IS COMING UP

 **trainwronk:** if we dont do some dope ass group costume w like idk jonathan and the kids and all im gonna sue

 **trainwronk:** hhm scooby gang?

 **trainwronk:** or maybe a slutty version of the hug bears what were they called

 **trainwronk:** spongebob slutty version ? i petition whoever ends up being spongebob wears like a red tie onto a naked body

 **trainwronk:** and like brown booty shorts

 **Yeehonk:** Oh my please don't, we'll get fished by Hopps and put in the monkey jail

 **Yeehonk:** I went as sexy Clippy once and I got in a lot of trouble

 **trainwronk:** sexy.. clippy

 **trainwronk:** ..pictures.. or it didnt happen

 **Yeehonk:** Sadly no pictures survived... A national tragedy..

 

_[ **soreber** sent a photo]_

 

 **Yeehonk:** WHAT

 **trainwronk:** THANK YOU

 **Yeehonk:** YOU SAID YOU DELETED EVERYTHING

 **soreber:** oh i did

 **soreber:** but jonathan didnt

 **trainwronk:** blessed day my pores are clean steve you look bomb in that skirt

 **Yeehonk:** Seeing as lunch is in 15 minutes you will all be dead very soon.

 **soreber:** i lived a great life full of nachos and study notes i think i'm ready

 **trainwronk:** but my nucket list?

 **trainwronk:** *bucket

 **soreber:** nugget

 **trainwronk:** i havent gotten to yell 'RUN RUN RUN' at citizens as a building implodes behind us?

 **soreber:** what movie is that from

 **trainwronk:** any american blockbuster

 **soreber:** damn yye right

 **soreber:** lemme just set up some bombs in the bathroom so you can complete ur dreams :,)

 **trainwronk:** thought you were just fam but youre actually bae

 **trainwronk:** thank you op

 **soreber:** Op is no longer alive.

 **soreber:** You're next.

 **trainwronk:** fuck he got nancy

 

\---

 

Private chat for **trainwronk** and **Yeehonk**.

 

 **Yeehonk:** I'm at Starbucks I'll get you something what do you want

 **trainwronk:** daddy thank you

 **Yeehonk:** I'll get you iced water you're welcome

 **trainwronk:** vanilla frapuchinno ily

 **Yeehonk:** No comment

 **Yeehonk:** I'll pick you up and force the essay down your throat

 **trainwronk:** kinky

 **Yeehonk:** Yeah yeah wait until you read it

 **trainwronk:** ily ily see ye bee

 **Yeehonk:** I'm glad you see me as an insect

 **trainwronk:** i have no smart retorts so im just gonna l eave

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **soreber:** i am crying  i just got texted by barb cause she saw you two sitting in steve's car

 **soreber:** she thought one was gonna kill the other this is hilarious

 **soreber:** it's the essay editing right

 **Yeehonk:** Wow I can't believe people still think of me as a murderer

 **soreber:** you keep threatening us with imminent death

 **soreber:** so

 **soreber:** guess i'll die

 **Yeehonk:** _Then perish_.

 

\---

 

Private chat of **trainwronk** and **soreber**.

 

 **trainwronk:** "drawn like small birds to flame"

 **trainwronk:** he was writing this at 1am

 **trainwronk:** and forgot the word moth

 **trainwronk:** and improvised

 **trainwronk:** my poor heart

 **soreber:** okay for real how bad do you have it

 **trainwronk:** hes nice to me and thats a major SOLD

 **trainwronk:** im hoping itll pass but i get the adrenaline rush when i think about idk kissing him

 **trainwronk:** big gay

 **soreber:** oof

 **soreber:** we're very very here for you my man

 **soreber:** let yourself be loved :)

 **trainwronk:** sounds fake but ok

 **soreber:** what a hoe

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **soreber:** lets take a moment to thank Steve for the pirated movies

 **soreber:** amen

 **trainwronk:** ah _men_

 **Yeehonk:** I accept payment in cash only

 **soreber:** expensive

 **trainwronk:** do you accept kisses

 **Yeehonk:** I'm sorry kiss machine broken

 **trainwronk:** understabdle have a gr8 day

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **soreber:** no but i just watched IT ,,,, and??

 **Yeehonk:** Ikr he's so hot?

 **soreber:** who??

 **Yeehonk:** The clown

 **soreber:** i'm sorry what

 **trainwronk:** im sorry ewhat

 **Yeehonk:** Guys I think Byers just called my name I gotta go

 **soreber:** jonathan is w me

 **Yeehonk:** The younger Byers

 **trainwronk:** the kids are at my house

 **trainwronk:** steve

 **trainwronk:** steve you fucker come back

 **soreber:** i cant believe this

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. a cryptid, a middle man, and a baby sittier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have been a lazy lazy tortle and completely distracted myself with other things but shoutout to golden bean layla who in the comments was a real mvp and convinced me to sit my sorry ass down. :)  
>  and I promise I'll not drop this on like. not even a cliff hanger. I promise promise this will get done I'm sorry for the delay y'all.

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **trainwronk:** GOODMORNING THIS IS A PSA

 **trainwronk:** do NOT and i mean do. NOT. accept friend requests

 **trainwronk:** from MaximumDrive

 **soreber:** omfg is that max

 **soreber:** billy is that maxine

 **Yeehonk:** Nancy that's Max. That's Max.

 **trainwronk:** shes being nosy pelase dont add her my heart will _doki doki do_ \- dead.

 **soreber:** i bet max has chill ass memes

 **Yeehonk:** She doesn't. All she sends are like. Remixes and lyric quotes.

 **trainwronk:** steveb how do you know that

 **soreber:** oh no looks like billy warned us too late.

 **soreber:** stevev you've already added her haven't you

 **Yeehonk:** You guys give me like 1% credit, I have all my kids added, highlighted, and unmuted.

 **Yeehonk:** The true actions of a parent.

 **soreber:** i call bullshit on the 'unmuted' part but lmao has she sent anything incriminating

 **trainwronk:** i petition you block max for the following week

 **soreber:** _petition rejected._

 **Yeehonk:** This is all just so... Suspiciously intriguing...

 **Yeehonk:** This requires... An investigaytion..

 **trainwronk:** i am throwing my phone away

**Yeehonk:**

_[Chat history for **MilkshakeYard**_

**_Yeehonk:_ ** _Max what's up with the Billy drama_

**_MaximumDrive:_ ** _ohwiseoldman htank you for the reminder]_

**Yeehonk:** She sent this

 **Yeehonk:** I will die crying

 

_[ **Yeehonk** sent a photo]_

 

 **soreber:** is that

 **soreber:** billy

 **soreber:** i

 **Yeehonk:** @trainwronk why were you eating pasta with your hands

 **soreber:** the time stamp is 2am i can't breathe

 **soreber:** this is the worst cryptid photo of billy

 **soreber:** it even tops that shot of him looking for his car keys in the bushes

 **Yeehonk:** I can't believe he was so upset about this Billy come back

 **Yeehonk:** Billy it's ok we knew you were a cryptid

 **Yeehonk:** I'm sorry if this wasn't how you were gonna come out to us

 **soreber:** billy is real and he kissed me behind a burgerking at 2am

 **trainwronk:** but thats straight

 **soreber:** he's back!

 **Yeehonk:** I can't believe you straight-baited him...

 **trainwronk:** i know you guys save these and then send the m to me at like. questionable points in teh conversation

 **trainwronk:** i was fucking praying

 **trainwronk:** you wouldnt get your dirty pizza hands on these

 **soreber:** he's right i have an entire folder yo holla

 **Yeehonk:** Airdrop.. To me... At school...

 **soreber:** i'm loving this new cards trading game . except it's billy

 **trainwronk:** you guys are all horrible is this what being a nerd in a classic 90s movie was like...

 **Yeehonk:** Petition for Billy's Halloween costume to be a nerd

 **soreber:** betition we all do a flip of our personalities for helloween

 **soreber:** billy gets to be a straight

 **trainwronk:** im flattered my only personality trait you considered was the gay

 **soreber:** sorry

 **soreber:** straight and not a thot

 **Yeehonk:** Burn.

 **trainwronk:** how bout we all just go as furries

 **trainwronk:** steve can lend us some suits

 **Yeehonk:** I will slaughter you 11/10

 **soreber:** billy has a deathwish confirmed

 **trainwronk:** yeah i want steve to crush me with his muscular feminine thighs

 **Yeehonk:** I feel like Billy’s projecting

 **soreber:** billy projecting your own insecurities about your nice legs

 **soreber:** they're nice

 **soreber:** they look good billy listen to me you have nice legs

 **Yeehonk:** Billy come back this is important

 **Yeehonk:** Billy Nancy has a holy point

 **soreber:** billy it's k we love you

 **trainwronk:** fndsajd

 **trainwronk:** i have to go

 **soreber:** yes go use those nice legs to trecc upon the earth

 **Yeehonk:** (insert any of those pictures with a lot of emoji hearts Photoshopped onto it)

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **soreber:** life would be

 **soreber:** _so_ much easier

 **soreber:** if billy changed his nic to Cheapwhore and stebebb changed his to ExpensiveWhore so you'd match

 **Yeehonk:** My name isn't that hard to spell ya'll are just mean.

 **trainwronk:** *that easy to typo

 **trainwronk:** and why am i the cheap whore

 **soreber:** you caught. a squirrel. because i promised to buy you a burger if you did

 **trainwronk:** its true but you shouldnt say it.

 **soreber:** Yeehonk my yonky yonk hee honk, want to get high off of milkshakes @mcdonalds 2nite

 **trainwronk:** its rude to invite someone through a groupchat and not invite the literally only other person there

 **soreber:** billy.. you're invited automatically.

 **trainwronk:**   **:** D

 **soreber:** but

 **trainwronk**    **:** 0

 **soreber:** under one condition

 **trainwronk:**   > **:** [

 **soreber:** cheapwhore

 

**_trainwronk_ ** _has changed their name to **cheapwhore**._

 

 **cheapwhore:** i hate that me dong this proves that i am indeed one

 **cheapwhore:** * d o i n g

 **soreber:** _dong_

 **Yeehonk:** What an unpleasant development.

 **soreber:** yee honk yee yonk my honk yonk hee honk, mcdonalds y/n

 **Yeehonk:** In trying time like these I wish for English to spontaneously combust, killing our only method of communication instantly.

 

**_Yeehonk_ ** _changed their name to **ExpensiveWhore.**_

 

 **ExpensiveWhore:** You haven't won, gremlin. This is simply a means of escaping the yonk honk thing.

 **soreber:** oh how wonderous

 **ExpensiveWhore:** And nay I need to shuffle the kids

 **cheapwhore:** im -

 **cheapwhore:** what

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Baby sitting

 **cheapwhore:** do you take constructive critism on word choise op?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Sorry I only take fists to the face

 **soreber:** billy make a fisting joke asap

 **cheapwhore:** steve... i cant believe youve done this.. to yourself.

 **cheapwhore:** this is almost too easy

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Wack

 **cheapwhore:** ill spare you, my love

 **soreber:** i wont

 **soreber:** STEVE WHERE ELSE DO YOU TAKE THE FIST

 **ExpensiveWhore:** I have spiritually logged off.

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **cheapwhore:** he

 **cheapwhore:** he met me and he did the thing from madagascar movie where he ran at me looking all happ y

 **cheapwhore:** and then got all murder-ry

 **cheapwhore:** but then he laughed it off and gave me a sticker

 **cheapwhore:** what is this

 **soreber:** damn

 **cheapwhore:** WHAT IS THIS im so yonked

 **soreber:** where did you put the sticker.

 **cheapwhore:** phonecase

 **soreber:** big gay.

 **soreber:** tell him?

 **cheapwhore:** ...........................tellhimwhat

 **soreber:** the Eyes Of God See You across the room looking all panicky

 **cheapwhore:** stop making eye contact with me

 **soreber:** tell him you like him during helloween thats a very strong move

 **soreber:** do a couples costume

 **cheapwhore:** but thats so. gay.

 **soreber:** go as idk whats an iconic gay couple

 **cheapwhore:** _there isnt because media is heteronormativ.e_

 **soreber:** okay mr depression pants stop getting real its 3pm

 **cheapwhore:** he gives me butterfly poisoning i dont think havin  a crush is healthy

 **cheapwhore:** im going on tumblr to find me a healthadministrator

 **soreber:** make sure he doesn't steal your organs. . you'll need that heart for some more

 **cheapwhore:** djsksank now you have me thinking about how to ask him out in the most big dick move possible.

 **soreber:** i hope you mean big dick move as in the meme

 **soreber:** and not as in a big dick-move

 **soreber:** where you marry him and then go to buy cigarettes and never come back, leaving him with 6 children.

 **cheapwhore:** i hate that my heart did a gndajskda at the marry part

 **cheapwhore:** the rest of that sentence can be trashed no thanks

 **soreber:** op you got it bad but ill stan you on patreon for the rest of this journey

 **cheapwhore:** dont forget to like and subscribe

 **cheapwhore:** you can also find me in instagram and twitter

 **cheapwhore:** and in that bar down the street

 **cheapwhore:** (outdted dab)

 **soreber:** unholy.

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **ExpensiveWhore**.

 

 **ExpensiveWhore:** billy. you do know that I love you unconditionally?

 **cheapwhore:** chungus please give stefe his phone back

 **ExpensiveWhore:** can you STOP calling me chungus?? ?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** oh shit.

 **cheapwhore:** i cant believe you outted yourself dustin

 **cheapwhore:** dustin  give steve his phone back

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Wowza

 **ExpensiveWhore:** I can't believe you care about me enough to recognize when it's an imposter

 **cheapwhore:** my main boy!

 **cheapwhore:** did you murder chungus

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Lmao yeah, help me clean the blood?

 **cheapwhore:** i will screenshot and send this to one of their moms and then youl be deported for attempted murder

 **ExpensiveWhore:** See you in prison, see who drops the soap first

 **cheapwhore:** lol

 

\---

 

Private chat of **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **cheapwhore:** NANCY IS THIS FLIRTING

 **cheapwhore:** See you in prison, see who drops the soap first

 **cheapwhore:** he sent this nancy im in danger

 **soreber:** oh my g O D wh a t in danger of what just  be chill or idk keep flirting

 **cheapwhore:** that dog is gonna find out i have a boyfriend and come to my house again but this time w a shotgun

 **soreber:** wait the dog w the fingers from like tuesday

 **cheapwhore:** yeah its probably homophobic

 **soreber:** mmax'll protecc you it's okay

 **soreber:** you got this chill bro

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **ExpensiveWhore**.

 

 **ExpensiveWhore:** The kids say hi

 **cheapwhore:** that sounds oddly threatening tell them to never hmu

 **ExpensiveWhore:** I did but I think you just dug your own grave

 

\---

 

**_MaximumDrive_ ** _has invited **cheapwhore** to **MilkshakeYard.**_

 

 **MaximumDrive:** borther. you have been hit up.

 **WhiteVan:** Tonight is the night

 **tentakle:** _tinght is the night_

 **magicmike:** he got hit up.

 **WhiteVan:** He got  / hit up /

 **cheapwhore:** this is a cult and you cant convince me otherwise im leaving

 **magicmike:** fear us tall man

 **WhiteVan:** uwu

 **cheapwhore:** yall are weird  _by e_

 **WhiteVan:** owo

 **cheapwhore:** _fuck how do you leave a  chat_

 **ExpensiveWhore:** No Swearing

 **cheapwhore:** YOURE HERE TOO?

 **cheapwhore:** ok i found the exit button please do not ever contact me again.

 

**_cheapwhore_ ** _has left the group chat._

 

\--

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **ExpensiveWhore**.

 

 **cheapwhore:** i am blocking.

 **cheapwhore:** each one of your weird kids

 **cheapwhore:** do _not_ hound them on me

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Some things are not in my jurisdiction

 **ExpensiveWhore:** They low-key like you

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Jane thinks you're kinda cool

 **cheapwhore:** j an e?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Menacing but soft, the one who has a buzz cut in their profile picture? WhiteVan?

 **cheapwhore:** yeah okay do not get me invested in them

 **cheapwhore:** all of them except max ive seen a total of 2 times.

 **cheapwhore:** already more than enough but thats

 **cheapwhore:** how the hell do they know me plus like me

 **cheapwhore:** top ten things scientists refuse to explain

 **ExpensiveWhore:** No comment.

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **cheapwhore:** NANCY GAY PROBLEMS

 **soreber:** omg you too?

 **cheapwhore:** WTFucK U MEAN ME TOO

 **cheapwhore:** WHATEVER **:**

 **cheapwhore:** i think he talks bout me to his kids

 **cheapwhore:** my brain be jumping to conclusions but boy ar e they an easy leap away

 **soreber:** why am I the middle man im not even a man

 **cheapwhore:** he said his kids like me but i havent talke d to like any of them and

 **cheapwhore:** i hope im killed instantly by a piano this is so much exposure to drama

 **soreber:** 'what a drama queen' would be offensive to say now wouldn't it be

 **cheapwhore:** mmmmmm

 **cheapwhore:** yea h op

 **cheapwhore:** get this away from my ears so you dont hurt my gentle sensibilities

 **soreber:** dully noted

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **ExpensiveWhore:** How is it that I babysat some hyperactive bebs for like 16 hours but it's not even 10 yet.

 **cheapwhore:** too early to get drunk?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** _Toxic_

 **ExpensiveWhore:** No I just got home and I refuse to sleep before 11 **:** 30 and now I'm alone with like

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Homework? But on the other side YouTube.

 **cheapwhore:** lonely man

 **ExpensiveWhore:** All around me are familiar faces

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Actually the opposite of that^ cause it's heccin silent af.

 **soreber:** time to start hearing thumps around your luxury large thicc house ey?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Ah you make me almost reconsider clicking off this cryptids caught on camera playlist.

 **cheapwhore:** masochism.

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Don't worry I'm gonna go watch uuuuh

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Murder stories instead.

 **soreber:** WORSE

 **cheapwhore:** r u a lonely

 **ExpensiveWhore:** I got anxiety and things moving at the corner of my vision to keep me company

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**

 

 **ExpensiveWhore:** uuuuuuuuuuh _guys_

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Shit no I fucking heard something

 **ExpensiveWhore:** _YEah_ no there is _something_    outside my house.

 **ExpensiveWhore:** _I'm calling the police._

 **ExpensiveWhore:** In case this is the last thing I ever send, Nancy, tell Democorgi that I love him

 **soreber:** stop hitting on my dog

 **soreber:** and do you want me to call the cops too

 **soreber:** for a higher rate of your survival

 **cheapwhore:** DO NOT CALL THE POLICE

 **cheapwhore:** DO NOT CALL THE POLICE

 **cheapwhore:** ITS ME

 **cheapwhore:** LOOK OUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOW

 **ExpensiveWhore:** BILLY.

 **soreber:** billy's the cryptid. billy's the thing that goes bump in the night.

 **soreber:** i can't believe this.

 **cheapwhore:** let me in ?

 **ExpensiveWhore:** Why are you out ? In my yard at night ?

 **cheapwhore:** counter question **:** why do you have fucking rakes lying around i think my nose is deformed now i cant believe you step on rakes in real life

 **soreber:** i can't believe this. greatest fucking day

 **ExpensiveWhore:** I'm letting you in but I'm still angry

 **soreber:** guys please use protection

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **soreber:** okay it's been some time op did you fucking do it

 **soreber:** i'm crashing soon but op..

 **soreber:** op

 **cheapwhore:** wow what an invseted neighbore

 **cheapwhore:** no i just came ovr he waslonely and was gonna spook himself w the creepypasta again

 **soreber:** i think you shuffling around in his fucking bushes spooked him more

 **soreber:** oh fun story

 **soreber:** jonathan snapped a pic of me @steve's house once

 **soreber:** and the background was woods? right ? the ones near his pool

 

_[ **soreber** sent a photo]_

 

 **soreber:** zoom in on the right

 **cheapwhore:** you do realize im staying over in the guest room and the window faces those fucking woods and now i hate you for sending me that

 **cheapwhore:** did he edit that on.

 **cheapwhore:** _nancy did he edit that on._

 **cheapwhore:** _why is it so fucking tall what the fuck is that._

 **soreber:** that was taken w a polaroid so ,, zero editing

 **soreber:** sweet dreams

 **cheapwhore:** NANCY

 **cheapwhore:** thats like a bear right

 **cheapwhore:** fukcbearsa rent that lankywahthtehfuck

 **cheapwhore:** gnalgjdsalkn im going to steves room and showing him that picture so we can suffer together.

 **soreber:** thank me later for the excuse to cuddle

 


	5. high-key adrenaline shots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my people! thank you all so dearly for such kind remarks! warms my heart and fuels my fingers to type these gays  
> next chapter holds some Interesting Revelations.. hhm what could it be...
> 
> SOME WARNINGS!  
> pointing out just in case!  
> there's nothing graphic but neil gets mentioned and there are implications of abuse  
> just putting it out there   
> also drinking.. who let billy buy booze...

Group chat **BibleStudy**.

 

 **ExpensiveWhore** : Merry Thursday my fellow padawans I love everyone in this group chat

 **soreber** : we love you too

 **ExpensiveWhore** : Except Nancy because she had to go and bring back that picture

 **ExpensiveWhore** : Billy went banging my door down last night because of it

 **ExpensiveWhore** : On the other hand, I'm delighted I got to see Billy scared out of his socks by last Helloween’s decoration

 **ExpensiveWhore** : I think I still have it in our basement

 **soreber** : lmao did you tell him

 **cheapwhore** : okayokayoka pAUSE THE FUCK DOWN WHAT

 **soreber** : the fuckdown has been paused.

 **cheapwhore** : nancy

 **ExpensiveWhore** : God it's hilarious he's glaring daggers at his phone but he just got up so he's fluffy and confused

 **ExpensiveWhroe** : Typing so feverishly...

 **ExpensiveWhore** : Oh now he's glaring at me

 **ExpensiveWhore** : Guess I'll die

 **ExpensiveWhore** : I th-

 **soreber** : op got fucking slaughtered

 **ExpensiveWhore** : youre next.

 **soreber** : gndasjk billy how many times did you have to backspace to battle steves autocorrect

 

**_ExpensiveWhore_ ** _changed their name to **EW**._

 

 **soreber** : i know it's billy with the phone but that could have been so much more creative

 **EW** : It's an acronym of Steve's earlier whore name!

 **EW** : Creativity to the fucking MAXIMUM

 **EW** : dkjgnjsalmldafg;h

 **soreber** : and now billy's been murdered too...

 

**_EW_ ** _changed their name to **ogSteve**._

 

 **ogSteve** : I'm back bitch

 **ogSteve** : Betchu thought you saw the last of me

 **ogSteve** : Is that how the quote goes

 **soreber** : is billy okay

 

_[ **ogSteve** sent a photo]_

 

 **ogSteve** : Only slightly

 **soreber** : wow billy without his hair styled is tasteful how have neither of you combusted yet

 **cheapwhore** : alrightyo how about we stop exploiting my superhero secret personality ?

 **cheapwhore** : no one can know that WellStyledCurlsMcCoy is actually billy.. yall unreliable af

 **ogSteve** : I'll be that side character you have to kill because I endanger your secret identity

 **soreber** : *side character prostitute

 **ogSteve** : Now that's just homophobia

 **cheapwhore** : NOW THATS JUST PLAGIARISM

 **cheapwhore** : do not steal my fucking spotlight

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **soreber** : im waiting

 **cheapwhore** : i cant believe my gay crisis was so predictable

 **cheapwhore** : but yeah op wtf im either looking at all he says w my rose color shades

 **cheapwhore** : and when i say shades i mean dope ass sunglasses

 **cheapwhore** : or idk gnasdjskg nancy

 **soreber** : you played it off well but what can i say op needs to get their long gay legs under them

 **soreber** : op needs to DO SOMETHING about this

 **cheapwhore** : op is a fucking scaredycat and not the furry type that might appeal to steve

 **soreber** : touche

 **cheapwhore** : im gonna walk home now and totally not fucking thin k about this all the way there

 **soreber** : we have ,, school

 **cheapwhore** : i walk fast ok ill be fine

 **soreber** : right long legs long legs

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**.

 

 **soreber** : billy left your place right

 **ogSteve** : Yeah he said he'd drive himself why

 **soreber** : we have 2nd period together and homeboy isn't here.

 **ogSteve** : @cheapwhore are you smoking in the bathroom

 **ogSteve** : Wait I'll do the gay call maybe it'll get his attention

 **ogSteve** : Here it goes:

 **ogSteve** : _granskdjaslk_

 **soreber** : okay comedy gold central but for real did you see him come to school

 **ogSteve** : Oh uh shit no

 **ogSteve** : I looked out the window his car isn't in the parking lot

 **soreber** : fuck uuh

 **soreber** : lowkey adrenaline shot

 **ogSteve** : _High-key_ adrenaline shot

 **ogSteve** : Wait Max is online

 **soreber** : this is giving me anxiety

 **ogSteve** : Okay so she says he got home but Neil flipped shit

 **soreber** : jesus fuc k ing christ okay um

 **ogSteve** : Max had to leave for school but Neil was shouting a lot upstairs

 **ogSteve** : I think I can fake family emergency and go

 **soreber** : didn't neil passively threaten you when you came over to bring billy missed hom **EW** ork

 **soreber** : fuck you can't just show up

 **ogSteve** : I have bats in my trunk I think I'll survive.. If anything it'll give Billy window to escape

 **soreber** : steve

 **soreber** : steve where did you go

 **soreber** : _steve_ fuck what are you doing

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **ogSteve**.

 

 **ogSteve** : Hey I don't really know what the situation is but I think I'm driving over

 **ogSteve** : And I get if you'll be angry with me but

 

_[ **cheapwhore** has started a call]_

_[call ended 00:42:03]_

 

 **ogSteve** : Alright, as long as you're fine, but you call me if anything happens ok?

 **ogSteve** : I'm still at school but I'll drive over if anything

 **cheapwhore** : mmhm

 **ogSteve** : Also can I tell Nancy or would you preffer I don't?

 **cheapwhore** :  its ok

 **ogSteve** : Billy I'm here for you

 **cheapwhore** : ok

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **soreber** : billy i love you so much you're so important

 **soreber** : steve said it was just a small fallout but it's ok if it still upset you

 **soreber** : don't bottle of feelings okay

 **soreber** : even small problems can cause shock waves and that's nothing to try and muffle out of shame or anything !

 **soreber** : and we're all here to support you, alright?

 **cheapwhore** : god i algna ffnask already cried on call w steve for like an hour

 **cheapwhore** : and now ur making my eyes water again STOP

 **cheapwhore** : neil just bitched about me being gone

 **soreber** : do you want us to come over after school?

 **cheapwhore** : i think im fine

 **cheapwhore** : im just gonna sit in my car somEWher

 **cheapwhore** : probably mull over evryhting

 **cheapwhore** : nanc y did you know steve i s like. . a trained fuckign proffesional

 **soreber** : ?

 **cheapwhore** : i think hes the reason i didnt have a panic attack

 **soreber** : that's good :)

 **cheapwhore** : makes me kind of angry..

 **cheapwhore** : ill go space out and then do recreational activities

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**.

 

 **cheapwhore** : wow guys thanks for caring so much but the chat has been a ghost town since then

 **cheapwhore** : so i'm here to break the ice

 **cheapwhore** : look at this pic of me holding a bottle cap in my fist

 

_[ **cheapwhore** sent a photo]_

 

 **cheapwhore** : oddly reminiscent of buttplugs coming out of an ass after being stuffed in w the base

 **soreber** : .. .. .

 **cheapwhore** : what?

 **soreber** : on one hand you're right on the other hand now i'm dead

 **ogSteve** : Billy it's barely 7 what are you doing with beer

 **cheapwhore** : being a nice cathlic monger what do you think

 **cheapwhore** : also thanks guys for uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

 **cheapwhore** : this is like pulling teeth but has to be done

 **cheapwhore** : thank you fuck

 **cheapwhore** : f or

 **cheapwhore** : ca

 **cheapwhore** : mmmmmmmm

 **soreber** : billy it's ok we gettid

 **ogSteve** : Thank you for making an effort at English though

 **cheapwhore** : gnaksdg

 **cheapwhore** : infinite pain

 

\---

 

Private chat for **cheapwhore** and **soreber**.

 

 **cheapwhore** : im gonna get so smashed

 **soreber** : there's school tomorrow

 **cheapwhore** : no but im gonnaget very smashed

 **cheapwhore** : because this is bad

 **soreber** : do you want to call?

 **cheapwhore** : no im just gonna hope drunk!me has a better grasp on feelings

 **soreber** : don't you dare confess while drunk you're gonna forget it and die

 **cheapwhore** : fuccin watch me

 

\---

 

Group chat **BibleStudy**.

 

 **soreber** : billy went out to get drunk and since i care about him this is a psa

 

**_soreber_ ** _changed the group chat name to **BILLY_STOP.**_

 

 **soreber** : BILLY IF YOU ARE READING THIS EXIT OUT OF THE CHAT AND DON'T SEND ANYTHING BECUASE YOU WILL REGRET IT

 **ogSteve** : billy

 **ogSteve** : billy send all you like

 **soreber** : _i will literally murder you harrington_

 **ogSteve** : billy

 **soreber** : i'm warning you once

 **ogSteve** : billy my boy come here

 **ogSteve** : billy

 **soreber** : i hate both of you knuckle-heads with such a passion

 

\---

 

Group chat **BILLY_STOP**

 

 **cheapwhore** : did yoi know that the jeyborad is arranged how it is because of old timey typEriters rkaing

 **ogSteve** : Comprehensive typing.. wow

 **ogSteve** : No autocorrect to speak of

 **soreber** : billy leave

 **soreber** : and steee stfu at least his phone isn't all about transforming 'fucks' into 'ducks'

 

**_cheapwhore_ ** _changed their name to **fuckducks.**_

 

 **soreber** : NO

 **ogSteve** : What a. Furry.

 **fuckducks** : not fuery. feathery..

 **fuckducks** : odes this appeal to your aestetics

 **fuckducks** : omfg i didnt typo that

 **ogSteve** : You did

 **fuckducks** : that s not why im here

 **ogSteve** : Billy what's on your mind

 **fuckducks** : do yall want nudes

 

**_soreber_ ** _has removed **fuckducks** from the group chat._

 

 **ogSteve** : AW C'MON WHY

 **soreber** : doing god's work y'all will thank me in the morning.

 

**_ogSteve_ ** _changed the group chat name to **:(**_

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **ogSteve**.

 

 **fuckducks** : op

 **ogSteve** : Cannot believe you still speak fresh kush meme even when drunk

 **fuckducks** : i may espeak feresh kush but am i fresh kuck

 **fuckducks** : k u sh

 **ogSteve** : The freshest

 **fuckducks** : say no to drugs

 **fuckducks** : kids

 **ogSteve** : Billy it's pretty late where are you

 **fuckducks** : ;)

 **fuckducks** : no iea where car is but my legs are goodboys

 **fuckducks** : ;  )

 **ogSteve** : Can you see a landmark?

 **fuckducks** : lmao yeah i caught sigte of maike

 **fuckducks** : mike

 

\---

 

Group chat **:(**

 

 **soreber** : stavin come pick your drunk boyfriend up from my christian household

 **soreber** : my mom won't let him crash here

 **ogSteve** : Omfg so he wasn't joking about Mike

 **ogSteve** : Yeah I'm coming

 **ogSteve** : And that is still not how you spell my name... Even when asking for a favor...

 **ogSteve** : What harsh treatment

 **soreber** : harringtom

 **soreber** : i

 **soreber** : is that the only thing you're gonna argue over in that sentence ?

 **ogSteve** : Hm

 **ogSteve** : Wha

 **ogSteve** : OH SHIT

 **ogSteve** : OP HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND

 **ogSteve** : WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS WTF

 **soreber** : wtf indeed.

 

\---

 

Group chat **:(**

 

 **ogSteve** : Okay I've got him crashed on the bed

 **ogSteve** : If he throws up I'll try to be angry

 **soreber** : try ?

 **ogSteve** : Lmao who tf am I kidding

 **soreber** : _steve this is groupchat_

 **ogSteve** : Op is such a dumbass

 **ogSteve** : Op you can't see messages if you've been thrown out

 **ogSteve** : Even if you get re-added

 **soreber** : oh ok i guess you just have more experience being kicked out of groups then

 **ogSteve** : The kids are hell but I love them

 **ogSteve** : Also they said they still don't have a group costume planned

 **soreber** : do not drag us all into one big group

 **soreber** : tf you are worrying about this isnt billy the big helloween stan

 **soreber** : where's the meme on how helloween is stanned by kids, people who like dressup, and gays

 **ogSteve** : I know I have it saved don't make me look for it.

 **soreber:** how is he btw

 **ogSteve:** The side of his face was red but nothing serious, at least visually

 **soreber** : i'm gonna sleep keep me updated in pc on him k?

 **ogSteve** : Looks like I'm not the only mother here..

 **soreber** : im mother cause your ass striving to be daddy

 **ogSteve** : OKAY BLOCKED.

 


	6. and so billy's death is cemented in history

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for a late update, school started and oof. oof.  
> Anyway, big thankies from mcspankies for being interactive and so kind! my heart goes out to all y'all ;0  
> What else can I say? Enjoy Billy being a gay wreck.

Group chat **:(**

 

 **ogSteve** : I think I'm skipping school today

 **soreber** : let me guess

 **ogSteve** : Stop before you start

 **soreber** : is it billy

 **ogSteve** : Blocked, deleted, unsubscribed, killed in real life

 **soreber** : is he up

 

_[ **ogSteve** sent a photo]_

 

 **soreber** : IMAGE: SAVED the _FUCK_ into this phone

 **ogSteve** : He will kill me if he knows I took that so your thot ass better keep their mouth shut.

 **soreber** : snapping ? a blurry picture of billy ? as he sleep ? hugging a pillow ?

 **soreber** : i don't see anything life threatening to you

 **soreber** : :)

 **ogSteve** : I'm going downstairs cause I can hear my mom and

 **ogSteve** : I'm gonna have to do some Explaining

 **soreber** : cook him eggs

 **soreber** : cook him eggs op

 **ogSteve** : May I ask why

 **soreber** : you may not.

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **soreber**.

 

 **fuckducks** : groupchatwhere

 **soreber** : hello to you too.

 

\---

 

Group chat **:(**

 

**_soreber_ ** _has invited **fuckducks** into the group chat._

 

 **fuckducks** : why was i removed

 **fuckducks** : why am i fuckducks

 **fuckducks** : why am i in steves bed

 **fuckducks** : wait fuck

 **fuckducks** : FUCKdjks

 **fuckducks** : _STEVE_

 **fuckducks** : i dont feel sore does this mean i topped

 **ogSteve** : _WE DIDN'T FUCK_

 **ogSteve** : Your ass got shitfaced drunk and cried about how you technically don't have to wash bananas because they're in a peel

 **soreber** : you were about to ruin your potential at a non-regret stricken life by sending drunk nudes to a group chat with this selection of people.

 **soreber** : you also told mike that the best hair-products are the ones aimed at older women

 **fuckducks** : wow nancy the real mvp since 2003

 **soreber** : y'all need to start paying me

 **ogSteve** : Sorry money machine broke

 **fuckducks** : sorry im broke

 **fuckducks** : btw where tf steve

 **ogSteve** : I'm downstairs

 **ogSteve** : There's an extra brush on the bathroom counter

 **ogSteve** : You can find a change of clothes in the closet

 **soreber** : guys why are you like this

 **fuckducks** : oo a closet

 **fuckducks** : familiar territory

 **ogSteve** : Hansdgjksdnk

 **fuckducks** : *smacks you*

 **fuckducks** : steve you cant keysmash youre str8 its illegal.

 **ogSteve** : I

 **ogSteve** : Billy

 **ogSteve** : I am _thoroughly_ offended.

 **ogSteve** : Come down I have breakfast for your 2pm awakening

 **fuckducks** : ur sense of humor sucsks im coming

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **soreber**.

 

 **fuckducks** : HE MADE ME EGGS

 **fuckducks** : THIS HAS TO BE A SIGN FROM ABOVE.

 **fuckducks** : gdnaskj like ok i get coincidences bu t like that ?

 **fuckducks** : i rant to you about no one making me any eggs since mom left

 **fuckducks** : im trying kind of v hard not to cry

 **fuckducks** : i asked why his clothes fit me fine when obv hes not as Buff

 **fuckducks** : he likes to wear oversized stuff because its soft ?

 **fuckducks** : i really want to kiss him

 **fuckducks** : i think he doesnt get credit for being pretty and nice and caring

 **fuckducks** : especially when he smiles

 **fuckducks** : god ive been making him smile

 **fuckducks** : i wa nt to

 **fuckducks** : i want my phone background to be him smiling

 

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

 

 **fuckducks** : maybe this?

 **fuckducks** : wait i have

 

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

 

 **fuckducks** : alternatively

 

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

_[ **fuckducks** sent a photo]_

 

 **soreber** : WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY PICTURES OF STEVE

 **fuckducks** : ive seen your photo library.

 **fuckducks** : jonathan. everything is jonathan.

 **soreber** : touche u m

 **fuckducks** : he said hes taking me to mcdonalds for milkshakes

 **soreber** : go you big gay, go

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **ogSteve**.

 

 **ogSteve** : Are you sure you'll get home by yourself

 **fuckducks** : yeah im goog

 **fuckducks** : _goo D_

 **fuckducks** : sorry i always miss the D

 **ogSteve** : Thot

 **fuckducks** : excuse me

 **fuckducks** : at least i make an efort

 **ogSteve** : An efort?  What about an effort?

 **fuckducks** : this is like some godless joke i cant believe im being bullied in my own house

 **ogSteve** : I'm sorry b

 **ogSteve** : Guess I'll be changing my ways

 **ogSteve** :

┏┓

┃┃╱╲ In this

┃╱╱╲╲ house

╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love

▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate

╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲

Billy's typos

╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

 **fuckducks** : much better

 **ogSteve** : Wait, one mistake

 **fuckducks** : alright now

 **fuckducks** : what is it you mop

 **fuckducks** : what insult is it gonna be

 **ogSteve** :

┏┓

┃┃╱╲ In this

┃╱╱╲╲ house

╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love

▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate

╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲

Billy

╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

 **fuckducks** : FUCK

 **fuckducks** : steve for real youll kill me one of these days

 **ogSteve** : You are indeed, still on my hit list

 **ogSteve** : Hit-up list

 **fuckducks** : why do you

 **fuckducks** : so  smooth ? op needs to be KICKED

 **ogSteve** : My skin is smooth thanks to my _personally_ designed skin care routine?? You can find it on my Youtube page under LilCatPawsUWU_doki23 under the name

 **ogSteve** : STORY TIME: I ALMOST BURNED MY SKIN OFF?? DEADLY SNAKE ENCOUNTER | SPONSORED BY SKILLSHARE | HMU ON TWITTER | PRANK GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL | NOT CLICKBAIT!!

 **fuckducks** : for a fcjing moment i thought you wererent kidding gnasdkja

 **ogSteve** : I wouldn't have my username be LilCatPawsUWU_doki23

 **ogSteve** : The fact you even accepted that at point value scares me

 **fuckducks** :

┏┓

┃┃╱╲ In this

┃╱╱╲╲ house

╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love

▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate

╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲

Steve being a furry

╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

 **ogSteve** : I am currently getting in my car to ram into your house at 600mph, killing you instantly

 **ogSteve** : ON THAT TOPIC

 **ogSteve** : Are you home safe yet?

 **fuckducks** : why are you so worried

 **fuckducks** : i am literally strong enough to bench press you

 **ogSteve** : I highly doubt that.

 **fuckducks** : watch out bitch

 **fuckducks** : next time i see you you are getting Lifted

 **ogSteve** : How terrifying

 **ogSteve** : I'm very scared

 **fuckducks** : but yeh im home

 **ogSteve** : !Ok

 **ogSteve** : :)

 **fuckducks** : stop being wholesome you make me bleed

 **ogSteve** : Billy I think you have 'blushing' and 'bleeding' confused

 **fuckducks** : ALRIGHT NOW HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP

 **ogSteve** : Make me

 **fuckducks** : i can see max from where im sitting

 **fuckducks** : how much do you value your children

 **ogSteve** : Fuck, you know one of my two only soft spots.

 **fuckducks** : shit whats the other

 **ogSteve** : Maybe one day you will find out.

 **ogSteve** : But Anxiety tells me today is not that day

 **fuckducks** : steve anxiety can go fuck itself youre valid

 **ogSteve** : Thank you Billy

 **fuckducks** : no u

 **fuckducks** : shit i mean like thanks .

 **fuckducks** : you too, thank you for today

 **ogSteve** : It's ok I know what you mean

 **ogSteve** : Have a nice evening

 **fuckducks** : questionable request

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **soreber**.

 

 **fuckducks** : i am so slaughtered

 

\---

 

Private chat for **fuckducks** and **ogSteve**.

 

 **fuckducks** : hey honhonhon

 **fuckducks** : https://www.amazon.com/Dreamgirl-Cowboy-Costume-Black-Large/dp/B00TDW7M1Q/ref=sr_1_47?ie=UTF8&qid=1535207857&sr=8-47&keywords=cowboy+costume+adult

 **fuckducks** :   :)

 **ogSteve** : An emo cowboy costume.

 **ogSteve** : No

 **fuckducks** : lets see by common vote

 

\---

 

Group chat **:(**

 

**_fuckducks_ ** _changed the chat name to **Democracy**._

**_fuckducks_ ** _changed their name to **sugarbb**._

 

 **soreber** : what is going on

 **sugarbb** : im trying to convince steve to buy me this

 **sugarbb** : https://www.amazon.com/Dreamgirl-Cowboy-Costume-Black-Large/dp/B00TDW7M1Q/ref=sr_1_47?ie=UTF8&qid=1535207857&sr=8-47&keywords=cowboy+costume+adult

 **sugarbb** : so logically i have to assume the correct name

 **soreber** : if the shoe fits.

 **sugarbb** : you have 'sore' in your name so i guess so

 

**_soreber_ ** _changed their name to **stop**._

 

 **stop** : stop

 **sugarbb** : o u ch

 **sugarbb** : so lets vote

 **sugarbb** : i say yes to emo cowboy

 **stop** : i can't believe he won't buy me washi tape but he's willing to blow money on you

 **sugarbb** : he promised to buy me a halloween costume if it was worth the money

 **ogSteve** : I won't buy you washi tape because every time I do, it ends up all over my stuff.

 **ogSteve** : And I vote against emo cowboy

 **stop** :  i vote against too

 **sugarbb** : NANCY??

 **sugarbb** : i cant believe youd done this

 **sugarbb** : i was counting on a vote

 **sugarbb** : and you go and do this??

 **sugarbb** : homophobia? in my district? very likely seeing as this is hawkins.

 **stop** : oof harsh

 **stop** : but no billy

 **stop** : you're being offered _endless_ possibilities

 **stop** : and you settle on something that only shows off

 **stop** : 10% of skin??

 **stop** : who are you and what did you do to billy

 **sugarbb** : im not.. that much of a hoe

 **stop** : agree to disagree

 **ogSteve** : Agree to disagree

 **sugarbb** : im telling max im getting bullied and shell blast rock music outside of your window at 3am just you watch out

 **ogSteve** : Legitimately terrifying.

 **stop** : i'm shaking in my cowboy boots

 **stop** : since we're all here and freshly named i say stege changes his name too

 **ogSteve** : And here I thought having 'Steve' in my nic would help you spell my name

 **ogSteve** : Looks like I was wrong and you're just _Damaged_

 **ogSteve** : Okay this is democracy vote on what I should be

 **ogSteve** : PG-13 though

 **stop** : just

 **stop** : just be PG-13

 **sugarbb** : be RonaldMcDickland

 **ogSteve** : Billy I'm going to subject you to literal death

 

**_ogSteve_ ** _changed their name to **RonaldMcDickland**._

 

 **sugarbb** : aaw you didnt have to <3

 **RonaldMcDickland** : SHIT MISTAKE

 

**_RonaldMcDickland_ ** _changed their name to **PG-13**._

 

 **PG-13** :my eyes were on RonaldMcDicknald so I got distracted and accidentally typed it

 **stop** : oh do you hear that...?

 **sugarbb** : oh, i hear it!

 **sugarbb** : its the excuse train coming !

 **stop** : toot toot

 

\---

 

Group chat **Democracy**.

 

 **sugarbb** : i know its v late

 **sugarbb** : but i was scouring news and theres a pride parade a state over

 **sugarbb** : @stop i have straight ally flags you game?

 **stop** : oh shit yeah i'm 100% yeeting myself there

 **PG-13** : Y'all go to sleep

 **PG-13** : But when is this?

 **sugarbb** : sunday

 **PG-13** : Oh cool, who's driving?

 **PG-13** : Time to finally uproot all the queer things I impulse-ordered last year

 **sugarbb** : do u want a str8 ally flag too i have enough i think

 **PG-13** : Don't you need to be straight for that?

 **sugarbb** : i bed your pardon what

 **PG-13** : Then beg.

 

\---

 

Private chat for **sugarbb** and **stop**.

 

 **sugarbb** : nancy

 **stop** : yes? :        )

 **sugarbb** : nancy hes not gay right

 **stop** : he ain't

 **sugarbb** : phewf close call

 **stop** : he's bi you close minded fuck what is this? bi erasure? fucking shouldn't be

 **sugarbb** : _FUCK_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so the plot thiccens


End file.
